Set the Example

Given all that I have been through, I have a lot of experience with phrases that we as a society are trained to say. Most of these phrases mean well, but usually aren't productive. Sometimes they are hurtful.

Some examples of these are:
"There are worse things that could've happened."
"I know how you feel."
"God will never give you more than you can handle."
"At least ..... (insert anything here)"

This list could go on for miles, but I think my point can be taken. I've spent quite a chunk of my time analyzing these phrases and wondering why people say these cliché things. My conclusion is that most of the time people simply don't realize that it is usually better to say nothing at all. Adults are full of nonsense.

...but we HAVE to do better. We have to slow down and think before we speak.

This has caused me to be very careful in the words that I choose to speak to my son Although he may have only a very basic understanding right now, I believe it takes time to create a habit. I want to have myself trained by the time he fully grasps my sentences.

Sometimes I catch myself saying things only to wonder what I actually meant by it moments later. Today I praised my nephew for being a "big boy" and following direction. What I meant was that I was proud of him for following direction. I was left wondering what he heard when I told him he was a "big boy." I've heard parents and other adults telling children they are acting like a "big boy" or "big girl" for as long as I can remember. Children are in such a rush to grow up already, so they usually respond well to this compliment. I hope that my praising him in this manner didn't translate into my encouragement of him rushing to grow up even more. I was correlating good behavior with being an older child. I hope that didn't leave an impression that he wasn't capable of good behavior exactly how he is today.

Children are so impressionable. Each one is so special with their own unique gifts and talents. We have to make it our goal to mold these children in an encouraging and uplifting way. We have to set the example and tell them how we feel and what we mean by our words. We have to take the time to offer sincere conversation and refrain from throwing out habitual phrases. It is up to us to teach them to have compassionate hearts by setting the example.